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Young professionals find love online
New to the area, Michelle moves to take her first job out of college
"I was new to the area, and had just moved here for my first real job out of college. I didn't know a single person east of St. Louis. I'm not a bar or club girl and while, my co-workers are great, I wasn't hanging out with them after work (or dating any of them!). Online wasn't my first choice for how to meet someone, but it was the best option open to me," says Michelle.
The Gauntlet
During her online dating journey, before meeting David Michelle had communicated with several men and a couple turned out to be a little on the strange side. So to screen out the undesirables she developed what she later affectionately dubbed the "Gauntlet." It was basically a test to see if the guy she was talking to online was really interested in getting to know her.
"He had to be able to write well," explains Michelle. As a book editor, Michelle appreciated a man who was able to compose a thoughtful email that asked interesting questions. Humor was also important to her. Writing a cohesive, interesting email with correct grammar and spelling is more difficult and time consuming than chatting online, and she wanted to see if he was able and willing to do that before moving to instant messenger (IM). Her experience had been that most men stopped communicating after one or two messages, or they wanted to meet immediately, which made her feel uneasy. Once he showed he was able to keep up a regular conversation Michelle 'rewarded' him with her IM screen name.
The Gauntlet was her way to make sure the man was truly interested in getting to know her. She and David hit it off immediately with witty, charming email exchanges. Michelle explains, "we asked each other tons of questions. We covered basic deal breakers - drug use, smoking, pets, political views, religion, sense of humor, preferred sleep schedule, career/life aspirations, etc. and more innocuous topics like favorite food, color, vacation, TV shows, as well as relationship, family and personal history. My favorite question of his was, "Which had the greatest impact on mankind, penicillin or boil-in-bag rice?" Together more than three years now, it looks like David passed the test.
