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Online dating really works...it did for us.
The four seasons rule...
I promised myself that if I met someone special online that I would apply the four seasons rule before making any serious commitments. This meant Darrell and I dated for four seasons before we decided to take the relationship further. He had wanted to ask me to marry him after six or seven months of dating, but I insisted he wait. At the turn of our fourth season together, he got down on one knee and proposed. In June 2006 after an 18-month courtship, we were married. It was one of the happiest days of my life! I am pleased to report that online dating really can work.
I'm glad I took the plunge into online dating. But let me tell you it took some time before I was ready. I had tried blind dates and set ups from friends and colleagues, and I even tried speed dating, twice. Online dating was a foreign world to me, but after considerable thought, I decided to give it a try. Amazing as it may seem, I met Darrell after being online less than a month! As it turns out he lived only a few miles away from me. In fact, he drove by my house every day to work, but it was online where we first met.
Do your homework
But before I went online, I did my homework. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and researching it. I also reflected a great deal about what I was looking for in a relationship. I was 40 years old, a divorced single mom with a teenage son. My decisions didn't just impact me. I went into the online dating experience thoughtfully and earnestly. In fact, I read books about online dating, and studied the pros and cons. Even before I posted my first (and only profile) I drafted a few different versions, and had friends and family read them and give me their comments. My sister-in-law, a photographer, took head shots for me. It was a group effort and I was serious about finding a compatible partner.
Be prepared, be timely and responsive
So after months of research, study and preparation, I went online in December 2004. What I wasn't quite prepared for was the amount of time and the work that was involved. You have to be ready for the work that's necessary, if you're serious. You can't go online, post a photo and profile and expect to go back and check the site once a week. I treated it like a job. You need to be vigilant, timely and responsive. That first week I was online I had dozens of emails to sort through. The next week there were even more. Through a process of elimination, I responded back to a handful of men. Darrell was a stand out.
That said, remember, online dating was just the beginning; it was where we made the initial connection. After going through the step-by-step communication process, (winks, website double-blind email, personal email, telephone, and meeting face to face), the real dating began -- the getting to know one another phase.
What's the four season rule?
It's really just one year, and just common sense. Spend four seasons getting to know one another. As the name implies, the four seasons rule was the amount of time (at least) I wanted to spend with a potential partner before making any serious commitments.
